tinylittlebox | day 415 ● ain't got no body to go with

Awful? 'twas something of a triumph. It simply came a little too late, for me.

[We are going to the dorms, brother.

[I trust you are following.]

Edited 2021-11-01 02:38 (UTC)

[But that just makes him want to ask more why she's upset????

He'll follow her all the way back to the dorm, though!]

[How to actually start this conversation?

[She's thinking about it for much of the walk back. She's got no more of a clue when the dormitory door closes behind them, but Alisaie still leans back heavily against it, sighing. It's strange how much more in control she feels just for knowing the world and its grandmother doesn't have a ringside seat to... whatever this turns out to be.]

Finally.

[She straightens.]

We're monsters, Alphinaud. Sin eaters, to be precise.

Sin eaters...?

[He feels like he should know what that is, but he really doesn't.]

They look like this?

Sometimes. It varies. The aesthetic, however? That's extremely consistent. Pale creatures, often winged. They look rather like sculpture - provided the sculptor were mad.

I suppose then, if we can obtain another card, we might be able to get rid of it?

I can but hope so.

[She sighs.]

That wasn't what I felt I had to be up here to talk of, though.

Alright, then. What is it?

[He's hoping it's nothing serious.]

I bought a memory recently, brother.

A creature like this - like I am, now - killed a friend of mine. Tesleen. All she did was try and protect a child in her care, and it killed her. And yet...

[It's hard, to make herself think on this again - though has she stopped, she wonders? Truly, has she been thinking of anything but Tesleen since the moment the memory made itself known to her?]

And yet, it did not. Oh, she was dead the moment it struck her - and yet she lived on. It transformed her, into another creature like itself.

[Like we are now.]

And so it fell to the... the Warrior of Light, to end her suffering. To them, and also to the two of us.

[He doesn't say a word at first, just pulling her into a hug. He can feel her pain so acutely it may as well be his own.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to carry this on your own, Alisaie.

[Hugging her a little tighter, but not painfully so.]

[She submits to it.

[Gladly, she submits.]

There's more to it than that, of course--

[Her voice is taut.]

But naught that I count more important. And some day, you'll remember it too. You'll remember how it ends, and - you'll realize quite how selfish I'm being, that I can't quite make myself feel glad.

You're not selfish.

[Petting her head a little while hugging her close.]

You care about her. If she was at peace after... then I'm glad. I hope she was. I hope the Warrior of Light was able to help her.

[He didn't want his sister to be in pain over this.]

[She's silent for a long while.

[Then, she draws a shuddering breath, and wipes at one of her eyes.]

That's why I brought you here.

I - I can't stay like this.

I'm glad you told me. I don't want you to keep things like that to yourself.

[He feels a bit like a hypocrite, considering he's been hiding just how deeply traumatized their last game had made him. She probably got glimpses of it in how he struggled to sleep still, but otherwise he dismissed it with a quick 'I'm fine'. He had somehow told Lark about all of this before her, not wanting to worry her, but now he wonders if he should have.]

It wasn't your fault and it's not your fault if you're relieved that something was done, even if she was killed.

[She nods.

[She isn't sure how easy it'll be to make herself feel any of that, either: not amongst the should have dones and might have beens, if things had been just a little different - if she'd been closer, faster, better - mayhap everything would have been.

[For his sake, she can pretend she believes it. It's hardly as if Alphinaud has naught to trouble him.]

We should go back down. My hiding up here feeling sorry for myself isn't going to change a thing.

[He almost wants to say 'It's alright if you need me to stay with you for longer.' Perhaps even hold her for longer if she needed. He'll let her go instead, still holding her hand at least to give her the physical contact. He nods.]

Alright, then. Let's head back down.

[She's silent for much of the journey, not letting go of his hand. By the time they reach the lobby, Alisaie has at least managed to compose herself somewhat. It's strange, how much better simply having someone understand why she's upset should make her feel.]

Have you managed to get anywhere with your card?

[Look at that; she sounds quite normal.]

I did manage to finish a row and helped others do the same.

[Which means it's time for him to pick a new card.]

Then, with any luck, you should be able to break this particular curse as soon as we get back.

As for me... well, I do have one square I was wondering if you could assist me with.

Of course! I'd be happy to.

[Also bonus points if it cheers her up.]

This one.

[

[She sits down heavily on one of the couches.]

I'm sure the rest of it can wait, just a little while longer.

Ah. Easily done.

[Once they're both seated, he puts his arm around her.]

No... I didn't think you'd have any difficulty with it.

[She rests her head on his shoulder, and pulls him near.]

[Cuddles! He's actually enjoying it, to be honest.]

Ten minutes is an awfully long time. I suppose we could always find things to talk about in that time?

day 415 ● ain't got no body to go with

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